


A blood thread of fate.

by enigmaticma



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Emotional Hurt, Family Issues, Heartbreak, M/M, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Red String of Fate, Soulmates, Suicide, TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD, nightmares about Samurai honorific suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:40:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27947684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticma/pseuds/enigmaticma
Summary: In a past lifetime, two men, a samurai and his slave made the choice to end their lives in the honorific way. One so that he won't bring dishonor to his family and the other so to follow the man his heart loved. In the Twenty-first century, Mark didn't know why he kept repeating that moment in a nightmare, everynight.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 13
Kudos: 94





	A blood thread of fate.

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, read the tags.  
> TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, major mention and description of suicide scenes.  
> if I could colour them or something for you to skip, I would. Sorry. But this fic is based on The Seppuku, which is an honorific suicide committed by Samurai in the past to preserve face.
> 
> Also, I couldn't ask people to beta read it for me, I have no idea who would be triggered by it. sorry for the mistakes.

Mark had been having nightmares of someone killing themselves before him with a thin and sharp knife for as long as he remembered. It was only when he celebrated his twenty-first birthday that words were added to the nightmare.

“I can’t live without you but I can’t leave my family either,” he said, looking at Mark with tear stricken cheeks. “I am sorry, my love. Let’s meet in another life. I love you.” He dug the knife deep enough just as Mark screamed. 

He wasn’t sure if he said anything to the man but he remembered the thread that tied The man’s wrist into his, it was white in his dream. He remembered how the man pulled the knife out and rested his head on his shoulder just as he himself picked the same knife and dug it in his own stomach. 

The pain he felt right then woke him up, screaming. Johnny, his roommate and best friend, could only hold him close and try to ease his sobbing. “It’s okay, it is just a nightmare,” he would say and Mark would eventually just fake sleeping so that his friend can sleep back, then stay still until the morning comes. 

It didn’t make sense to him how he could have such vivid nightmares and he didn’t try to know what it meant. 

A year passed before he dreamed of something far less gruesome about the same man. He was facing a well, pulling a bucket up when arms wrapped his waist. “I missed seeing you around, Minhyung,” the man said and Mark looked at the man who smiled adoringly, “was father mean to you today?” 

“I am well, sir,” Mark’s voice sounded strange in his ears but it was his. Definitely. “How was your hunt?” 

“Fruitful, I caught a boar,” the man said with a smile, “I left its skin in your room… as a gift to the man I love.” The warmth Mark felt right then changed when the scenery changed suddenly and he was pulled to run. The man looked terrified as he pulled Mark along. 

Mark could still hear the sound of running horses as he opened his eyes that morning. 

“You didn’t have a nightmare tonight,” Johnny commented that day and Mark smiled nodding, “it’s a good thing. Living nightmares permanently is unhealthy.” 

“I am sorry, Hyung,” Mark apologized. “I kept bothering you with my nightmares for so long now.” 

Johnny dismissed that and they had a normal day. Mark was in his last year of university so it was stressful on itself and Johnny assumed his nightmares were getting worse because of the stress. Mark wondered if it was true. 

“When you graduate, let us go to Japan,” Johnny offered. “Sicheng, Jungwoo and Dongyoung are heading there too for the break.” 

“Japan sounds fun,” Mark said with a smile but somehow he felt uneasy at the idea of going to Japan. He focused on his study, at least he tried, but the idea of going to Japan only made the nightmare more vivid. 

The knife, the warmth of the man’s blood mixed with his, the colour of the white thread tied around them that turned red, it all felt even more real. 

Mark woke up several times by force because Johnny thought he was dying. “I am worried for you, Mark. Your nightmares are getting worse,” he said as he cuddled Mark to sleep. “Please tell me what is happening.” 

Mark eventually admitted. “I get nightmares of someone who I think was my lover in a past life. He committed suicide and I did as much,” he said as he cried himself in Johnny’s arms. “It is so vivid and so real that I can feel the knife as it digs my insides.” 

“I believe you,” Johnny assured Mark. “Your screams were full of pain, Mark. I sure believe you but…” They looked at each other and Johnny frowned. “You can’t keep living like that,” he said, “you need to see a therapist or someone who can stop the nightmares.” 

Mark nodded, smiling at Johnny’s concern. “I considered it, I just need money for therapy,” he admitted, “I was hoping that I may get a job that would let me pay for it but I don’t think I’ll live like this any longer.” 

“I hope Japan’s trip will stop them,” Johnny mumbled, upset. Mark was about to let him know how anxious he was about Japan but kept his mouth shut. 

He couldn’t spoil the trip for Johnny as he clearly was looking forward to spending time with Dongyong. He nodded, still smiling before they went to bed for the night. Mark could barely close his eyes before he was deep into another vivid dream. 

He had no idea how he passed his exams or how he graduated. It was a struggle to be alive with how sleepless his nights were ever since his last birthday. Mark was surrounded by his friends, who somehow knew about his nightmares, as soon as he graduated. They packed for him, took him out to drink his weight of beers and generally made sure he was too tired to have nightmares before his trip to Japan.

“I got us a guide,” Jungwoo said as they got breakfast in the morning, “he is a nice guy and he promised to help us have fun.” 

“I hope he is not some of your escapades, Jungwoo,” Johnny warned, “that would make the trip very awkward.” 

Jungwoo threw a piece of bread on Johnny’s face and they bickered about it for a while. Mark could only wince as he supported a splitting headache and they were too loud for his brain to keep up. Dongyong was nice enough to keep his mouth shut, sliding a pain killer to his side silently. 

The trip to Japan only filled Mark with dread but none of his friends noticed, mostly because he was still looking like a corpse. He didn’t complain as well, smiling whenever his friends expressed their excitement. 

The flight was, unfortunately, two hours and a half long which meant Mark couldn’t swallow his dread as he followed Johnny out. His Japanese wasn’t basic, despite not studying it properly, so he passed smoother than his friends. “I didn’t know you were great at Japanese?” Jungwoo commented.

“I learned the basis for the airport,” Mark lied with a small smile, “I didn’t think it was a big deal.” 

“No, it isn’t,” Johnny reassured. “I love your accent.” 

It made Mark chuckle, letting Johnny pull him along. They made it out of the area when they noticed a colourful “Jungwoo” written in cardboard. It made Jungwoo laugh before approaching the man who gave him a sly smirk. 

“I truly didn’t believe you when you said you would write my name in the rainbow,” Jungwoo said before looking at his friends. “Guys, this is Nakamoto Yuta, my classmate and also our guide.” 

Mark at that point wasn’t listening. The man in front of him was the man of his dreams, he was a million times sure about it. Just as Jungwoo pointed toward him, Mark noticed the change into Yuta’s face before he blacked out.

When he woke up, he was in a bedroom with a cloth on his forehead. He could hear a discussion outside the room he was in but couldn’t move. His head felt like it would explode anytime and his body felt like it weighed tons. The door opened a few minutes after and Yuta got in with a bowl. 

He noticed Mark’s open eyes and smiled. “You are awake,” he spoke in fluent Korean, “I brought you a congee.”

“Where are my friends?” Mark dared and managed to ask. 

Yuta sat by his side and picked a towel that’s been resting on his forehead. “They went to stroll outside,” Yuta commented, “my friend convinced them that he can show them fun spots in the neighbourhood. How are you feeling?” 

As he asked so, Yuta had run his hand on Mark’s head, softly, and Mark’s pain subdued instantly. It felt like his body knew who the man was. “I am better, sorry for bothering you like this,” Mark said as he tried to sit.

Yuta simply smiled and helped him to sit up before giving him the congee to eat. It tasted plain but Mark ate it anyway. He kept his eyes on the bowl, trying to ignore the man by his side, until he was done eating and he observed the man pick the bowl and leave him alone.

Johnny and the rest came back shortly after, fussing around Mark. “I just didn’t sleep well for a while,” Mark assured them, “I’m fine. I think I finally caught on sleeping.” 

“Yeah,” Jungwoo commented, confused, “besides, you didn’t move the entire time. I thought you died.” 

Johnny frowned and nodded. “You didn’t have a nightmare?” he asked Mark who shook his head before looking at Yuta who got in. “Do you feel strong enough to go out with us? Yuta will walk us around the city.” 

“Yeah, I think I can,” Mark assured them and they all left the room for him to change clothes. They left the house as soon as he was done. Yuta took them to eat out, they ate cheap noodles and tried various snacks before they made it to a far spot of the city. It was on the edge of the city where they could see the sea, watch the boats, and enjoy the fresh air. 

It was all fun until Mark stood in front of Yeji river. In a second, he was assaulted by an image. There was a dock and a boat where five men stood. As soon as they stepped on land, the youngest smiled at Mark before handing the basket he was holding. 

“Is everything ready for me?” He asked and Mark nodded, unable to speak. “I hope there won’t be mistakes this time.” The shivers that ran down Mark’s spin nearly made him topple and hands held his shoulder. 

He looked at Johnny, as the entire space became modern, while the man spoke worriedly. “I kept calling you but you didn’t move at all. Are you okay?”

“Tired. I saw a convenience store,” Mark pointed, “can I go get some sweets?” 

Yuta approached him at that, “let’s go. It’s in the corner,” he told Mark before speaking to his friends. “We won’t make time.” Yuta didn’t wait for Mark to follow and walked ahead. Mark followed, not without being assaulted with flashes of a man in a kimono instead of Yuta. Once they were far, Yuta faced Mark which startled the man. “Is everything ready for me?” Yuta asked and Mark stepped back, shock written on his face. “You are making that face again,” Yuta commented, smiling, “I guess I’m not the only one who had past life memories.” 

“Past life memories?” Mark asked him in confusion but Yuta simply continued walking until they got in a convenience store. “What did you mean by Past life memories?” 

“Just as it says,” Yuta said with a smirk, “memories of a past lifetime. You looked cute in a kimono, by the way, despite how dirty it was.” Mark felt like he would faint and Yuta held his waist, worried. “Are you okay?” 

“It wasn’t just memories,” Mark whispered as they were close and he didn’t trust his voice. He didn’t realize he was crying until Yuta dried his tears. “I kept on repeating a suicide scene, over and over, for the past twenty years of my life… and you ended up real.” 

Yuta frowned, nodding. “I remember,” he said, “that I was running away from my family, or past life’s family, because they swore to kill you.” Yuta looked up to meet Yuta’s shocked eyes. “They knew we were lovers and planned to kill you for it, saying you were a witch who cursed me or something. I made the choice to die in honor and the last thing I remember is you doing the same with me.” 

Mark remembered that. He remembered how he picked the knife on his own will and ended his own life. It made him sigh, tired, and rest his head on Yuta. “Can we stop those memories from surfacing again?” Mark asked him worriedly.

“We will figure that out,” Yuta promised, “now, I’ll get you some sugar to boost your weak little butt so you can enjoy the day with us. Our tour is far from being over!” 

Mark chuckled, flustered, and allowed Yuta to buy most of the snacks. When he got back to his friends, Mark felt much better. He also felt like a weight was lifted off his chest. Even if the idea of a past life memory haunting him was absurd, his mind, heart and soul took it. It was a better explanation than losing his mind. They returned home around two in the morning and everybody lied wherever they found the space to fall in. Mark lied on the futon he was previously in and nearly dozed off if not for the sudden presence beside him.

He flinched but relaxed as soon as Yuta whispered. “It’s me,” he said, “I’ll make sure no nightmare will wake you up.” 

Mark didn’t truly believe Yuta could chase the nightmares but he relaxed nonetheless. He had the best sleep in ages. 

If someone noticed how touchy Yuta became with Mark, none of them commented, however everybody commented on how Mark didn’t wake up screaming, not even once. “I come home too tired to dream,” was all Mark could say. 

But they noticed. The closer Yuta gets to Mark, the happiest they both look. It made shotaro offer to give them space and Yuta simply dismissed it. 

For two weeks, Mark felt like he was walking on clouds. He slept well, ate well, and felt much better. But, the trip came to an end and they had to pack and leave. The night before their flight, It was Mark who looked for Yuta. The man helped Johnny set futons around before noticing Mark. “Are you okay?” Yuta asked. 

“Can we cuddle tonight?” He asked in a shaken Japanese. Mark had never used Japanese before meeting Yuta and conversing with the japanese man brought back everything. Yuta nodded, smiling a little and finished his task with Johnny. They all went to bed and Mark approached Yuta who opened his arms for Mark. Mark could see his friends observe them but he ignored them as he made himself small into Yuta’s hold. 

“I’ll miss you,” Yuta whispered into Mark’s ear which made Mark pull him closer. Yuta inhaled loudly and got much comfortable before sighing. 

Mark didn’t want to cry but missing Yuta made him feel like he was losing Yuta again and it brought fear to his heart and tears to his eyes. He slept fine, nonetheless, and woke up the second Yuta moved. He noticed Johnny looking at him worriedly before noticing he was sobbing in his sleep. 

“Are you okay? Is it a nightmare again?” Johnny asked and Mark just nodded. He wasn’t sure it was a nightmare but had no explanation to offer. They got in Yuta’s rental car, driven by the man himself, and got in the airport five hours before the flight. 

As they got their bags, Yuta held Mark’s arm and pulled him to a hug. “I want to call you often,” he whispered into the man’s ear, “can I?” Mark nodded, smiling despite his tears. Yuta caressed his cheek, tearing up as well, “I have your number, so I’ll call you once you are home, okay?” 

Mark nodded at that but he truly could feel a sob threaten his throat. “Bye,” he whispered before he picked his bag and followed his waiting friends. They waved at Yuta before getting in but Mark noticed how Yuta covered his eyes and it both warmed and hurt his heart to know Yuta cried on his own. 

His own tears fell as soon as they got on the plane. Johnny who sat by his side pulled him closer and patted his head softly. The flight was short and Mark soon found himself alone in the apartment as Johnny went to check the administration for some internship paper. 

He charged his phone and sat in front of it, waiting, when it rang via Line. He was surprised but happy to notice Yuta’s picture on the screen. “Yuta, hi,” he said eagerly.

“You got home safely?” Yuta asked him. 

“Yeah, I’m home. I was waiting for your call.” Mark went crimson while Yuta chuckled into his ear. Yuta teased him some more before he ended the call because he had to pick something for Lunch. Mark too felt hangry and called Johnny to pick some food. 

Johnny got in but not alone. Sicheng, Dongyoung and Jungwoo got in as well. Mark was surprised but not enough to expect them surrounding him. “So, when did you meet Yuta?” Jungwoo asked him. 

“On the trip?” Mark answered incertain, before he eyed them. “Why are you asking?” 

Sicheng bluntly said: “Yuta hyung never acted the way he did with you and you got so close from Day one, so we hoped that you will explain what is happening between you two.” 

Mark was eating but paused and looked at them again. “I just… I stopped having nightmares the second I saw him, didn’t I?” he pointed out to which Johnny nodded, “so I just… I felt like he was chasing my nightmares away and I clung into that. I didn’t think it was weird.” 

“It wasn’t weird,” Dongyoung corrected, “it was fast.” 

Mark nodded and looked at Johnny who remained silent. “What do you think, Johnny?” Mark asked.

“I think whatever affected you was affecting Yuta because he was acting different as well,” Johnny said to  which Junwoo agreed fiercely. 

He held Mark’s shoulder, speaking passionately, “he had never shown so much interest or care to a stranger the way he did with you! It took me a group project to get close to Yuta. He is not a bad person but he takes time to warm up to people, especially since he was the only Japanese in my class.” 

“Yeah, Yuta is a cautious person,” Johnny insisted, “he must have felt different with you.” 

Mark couldn’t help but smile at how they tried to make it sound like Yuta was interested in him. He nodded, even if he knew that Yuta and he were led by whatever that assaulted their mind. 

“I won’t see him, so I don’t think I’ll have to overthink it,” he said reassuringly, “and so you shouldn’t too. I’m fine now.” 

The boys dropped the subject and they spoke of their internships and career choices. Mark decided to have the internship with Johnny and Jungwoo. “It would be awesome to work with you guys,” Jungwoo excitedly said, “I won’t quit. Ever.” 

Mark and Johnny laughed at that. 

However, Mark’s internship was accepted in a different company. He was surprised that he was assigned a senior intern to supervise his progress. “He’s one of our best elements,” the recruiter said when he noticed Mark’s expression. “He started last year, while studying, and he is going to be a permanent member of our team soon.” 

“I hope so, Mr. Kim,” a familiar voice said and Mark turned to be face to face with Yuta who smiled brightly. “Welcome to our company, Lee Minhyung. I’m Nakamoto Yuta.” 

“I… Nice to meet you.” Mark was too shocked to react so when the man left him alone with Yuta, he touched the man’s cheek. “You are real…” 

Yuta chuckled, holding his hand and kissing it. “I work here so I had to come after you,” Yuta said with a smile.

“Why didn’t you tell me or call me?” He asked, upset. 

Yuta pulled him to a corner and looked into his eyes, he said, “I was scared that once you come back home and the entire nightmare-issue is over, you won’t want me around. I planned to get to know you first, by talking to you as many times as possible, then… I’d show up.” 

“You don’t have to do that,” Mark was still upset so he kept the same tone. “I never pushed you away so why do you think I won’t want you around?”

“I’m sorry,” Yuta apologized and Mark deflated.

“I’ll forgive you once you take me to dinner tonight, I still have a lot to talk about,” he said with a smile, “but first, can we focus on work?” 

Yuta observed him for a while, serious, before breaking into a grin and nodding. He walked ahead, followed by Mark who couldn’t help but guess that his current lifetime will be like the past one, just less gruesome. A wave of happiness hit him at the idea of working under Yuta’s supervision as somehow he knew it was what made him the happiest in those memories. 

He wasn’t wrong. 

He and Yuta met after work, as often as they could, and eventually Yuta’s parents caught them on a date. That day, Yuta told Mark that he would love it if Mark just slept over his place, as Mark walked Yuta home. “If it is just a sleepover, I’ll do it, but if you don’t keep your hands for yourself, I’ll leave,” Mark said teasingly. 

“Why? I love kissing you,” Yuta complained which made Mark fake a cringe. Yuta simply chuckled as he pulled Mark to a corner and kept giving him tiny kisses which made Mark let out giggles. 

“Yuta! stop, that’s tickles,” he said when Yuta suddenly yanked his hair a little and kissed him avidly. Yuta’s kisses always made Mark weak on his knees so when Yuta broke the kiss he just rested his head on Yuta’s shoulder and tried to breathe. 

“Father… Mother…” Yuta said in shock as he moved and Mark looked up, confused, before noticing a couple who stood there, observing them with a mixture of Terror and shock. “I…” 

“Let’s go,” the old man said as he pulled his wife and Yuta rushed to hold them. Mark on the other hand felt like his world shattered with Yuta’s and sat there, crying silently as he observed Yuta struggle to keep his parents. Eventually, they were gone and Yuta returned to his side. 

“I want to be alone,” Yuta simply said before he got in the building. 

Mark cried there for hours before he went home. Johnny woke up in shock when Mark slid in his bed. “Mark?”

“Can we cuddle? Please?” Mark’s pitiful voice was enough to convince Johnny so he can open his arms and welcome his friend. He didn’t expect to wake up on screams and looked at Mark who clutched into his hair, terrified. 

Johnny didn’t have to ask. Mark got his nightmares back. 

However, what Mark dreamed of was a modern version of Yuta’s past life. They were in Yuta’s house in Japan. Mark got in looking for Yuta only to find the man kneeling in front of a sword that aimed into the man’s heart. “No! Don’t!” 

“I’m sorry, Mark, but I can’t dishonor my family and I can’t give up on you either,” Yuta said as Mark knelt in front of him and Mark noticed the man’s hurt expression. “I don’t have a choice, Mark. I’m sorry.” 

“No, you…” blood filled his vision before he could stop Yuta and soon the house was replaced with trees and the broad daylight became night. Mark felt the knife heavy in his hand and he looked down to see the blood-soaked thread in his pinky. He didn’t hesitate to sink the knife in his stomach but the pain woke him up immediately.

It was already seven am so Johnny dismissed his sorries. “I’ve got to go to work anyway,” Johnny teased. 

Mark nodded and hoped Yuta would be fine at work. He tried to look presentable but as soon as he saw Yuta, his façade broke. He made so many mistakes that many scolded him but Yuta who blatantly ignored him. Mark didn’t blame him. It was the worst thing to go through, facing your parents like that. Mark couldn’t blame Yuta for not wanting him around. 

However, he had to do something before the dreams came true. On that night, he went to Jungwoo’s place. “Mark?” Jungwoo was surprised to see his friend in such a devastated state.

“Can I have Shotaro’s number?” Jungwoo nodded and handed his phone to Mark who didn’t hesitate to save the number and call the boy. Shotaro was surprised Mark called him but agreed to help Mark on finding Yuta’s parents. 

“Mom said Aunty is staying in a hotel in Korea. She said it’s just by Yuta’s building,” Shotaro said after asking his family, “They have a plane to Osaka at five.” 

“Thank you, Shotaro,” Mark said in Japanese and left a yelling Jungwoo behind, while he ran off to the nearest Hotel to Yuta’s place. There were three but he fast found them. He lied that he was a family friend who brought them food because they don’t know Korean so the receptionist allowed him up. 

He was nervous as he knocked the door and soon the woman opened it. She was about to close the door on him but he held it. “I have something to say and I will leave as soon as I do,” he simply said, in Japanese, so the woman let him in. 

He noticed the man sitting on the bed, looking at the window and he knelt in front of him. “Yuta and I were together in a past life time,” he spoke tonelessly, “as we both performed the Seppuku, back then, a thread of my clothes was wrapped in our fingers and got full of our blood. The reason behind my relationship with your son is that thread and I’m ready to cut it if you could give him another chance.” 

“Why would I even listen to you?” the man hissed to himself.

Mark knew that question was coming. “Yuta’s soul is of a Samurai. If you refuse him, he would feel dishonored and would prefer to end his own life than to live a dishonoring life,” Mark said as tears ran down his cheeks, “and I don’t want that. I don’t want Yuta’s blood to soak my nightmare anymore. I’ll leave him, if so is your wish, but please, give him the chance to speak to you and explain things to you.” 

The old man said nothing for a moment and Mark bowed low before standing. He handed the food to Yuta’s mother before bowing. “I’m sorry for all the inconvenience I caused,” he said as he allowed his voice to crack, “please take care of yourselves.” 

The woman and he exchanged a brief eye contact but it was enough for her to know that even if there were no knives, Mark had just planted one on his chest for Yuta’s sake. Mark walked home lifeless, despite the tears and the pain he felt. Once he was home, Johnny and Jungwoo were waiting for him.

“What happened? What did you do?” Johnny asked him. 

“nothing,” Mark forced a smile, “I just fixed a misunderstanding between Yuta and his parents.” It made the two men look at Mark who was slowly hyperventilating. “I just… I need to get my life back on track. I’m a mess in two days.” 

“Do you want to eat something?” Mark nodded at that. 

“I’m starving,” Mark said with a frown, “can I get pizza? A large one with Coke.” Johnny was surprised but still ordered it. They sat there observing Mark eat fast, stuffing his face like he was in a hurry.

“Slow down,” Jungwoo said, worriedly.

Mark gulped down his coke before nodding. “I just didn’t eat anything since yesterday, I feel like I’m going to die from hunger.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you something from the grocery store if you are still hungry,” Johnny assured. 

Mark ended up sleeping with some pizza crust on his chest. Johnny and Jungwoo just got him in bed and let him be, hoping it was just a passing storm. Mark woke up early, showered, and dressed up nicely. He was feeling lifeless but if work was the only thing he could have with Yuta, then he had to do his best for the man’s sake. 

He didn’t expect to hear that Yuta was given a promotion. “He became a permanent member of the upper level,” his new supervisor said, “Ah. I’ll miss seeing him around now that he has a permanent office in a different department.” 

“Yeah, I’ll miss seeing Yuta -sunbaenim around too,” Mark said, hit by a wave of pain. He was an intern for a different department and even if he became a permanent member of the company, he won’t see Yuta much. Except maybe Lunch break, if he is lucky. 

Mark tried to hold into that luck. 

Shotaro called him later that night telling him that Yuta’s parents hadn't returned yet. It brought up a smile to his face and a hope that he did the right thing. 

It was that hope that made him survive fairly a month before he collapsed. He fainted in the middle of a presentation, just as he was done explaining his part and another intern was working on his. He woke up in the hospital, surrounded by his friends. “How do you feel?” Johnny asked him and he just nodded, “Mark… You can’t keep on living like that, please.” Johnny was crying before he could control it. “I miss you, I miss the old you, and I can’t bear to see you slowly fade like this.” 

“I’m sorry,” Mark said, offering his hand to his friend, “It’s my first breakup. I’ll move on, don’t worry.” 

“Will you?” Dongyoung asked, worried, “because I feel like you will die before it happens.” Mark couldn’t deny that. 

When Yuta got in the room, however, his heart couldn’t take it and his lifeless expression became heartbroken and lost. Yuta mirrored that expression before approaching the bed with flowers in his hands. “I heard you fainted due to stress and came to check on you,” he said as he rested the bouquet on Mark’s legs. “I hope you will get well soon.” 

Mark avoided his eyes and asked. “Did you talk to your father yet?” Yuta gave a positive hum. “I’ll get well soon, then.” He noticed how nobody moved and looked up to meet Yuta’s confused expression. “You chose me in the past, now you have to choose your family, okay?” 

“Why?” Yuta asked him, still confused. 

“The soul of a Samurai knows,” Mark’s reaction to the female voice was panic. He was soon hyperventilating, as he laid down and looked at the ceiling. He didn’t know Yuta came with his parents and he felt like it was breaking his promise to meet Yuta so he tried to look anywhere but toward Yuta. A hand on his head made him jump and he looked up to meet the eyes of Yuta’s mother. She smiled as she patted on his head. “Here. Here, you don’t have to be so hard on yourself, dear,” she said and Mark could only panic more.

“I…” Mark couldn’t breathe at some point and soon nurses got in to help him out. He was drugged to sleep which came with a new set of nightmares. He woke up, screaming and sweating, and held his head as he breathed frantically loud. He felt hands on him and voices calming him down but nothing eased his mind until he was sedated. 

He woke up from a nightmare around midnight and was soon hugged. “Don’t worry, I’m here,” Yuta’s voice rang into his ears. “I’m going nowhere, Mark. Don’t worry.” 

Mark looked at him, shocked, before he cried. “I must have lost my mind,” he hissed, “you can’t be here. You can’t be real…” Yuta kissed him at that and he froze. “Yuta?” 

“Mother told me what you told father,” Yuta said and Mark’s brain couldn’t keep up, “and I realized I unconsciously did what you said you would do; I avoided you for their sake so that we won’t repeat history. It took father to see you here, hear you scream in terror, for him to accept that you and I… we are soulmates.” Yuta was shedding tears as he said so. He was unable to hold the pain. “I had nightmares the second I left you and got home. I had many fears. I couldn’t live without seeing you but I was also so scared of losing you for real. I feared I’d see you dead in this lifetime and that you will go alone and leave me behind.”

“I had the same dream,” Mark admitted, “you said you can’t dishonor your family and you killed yourself, this far from me.” He weakly pushed Yuta away. “I couldn’t live that day with the idea that the dream may come true so I called Shotaro who helped me find your parents.” 

“That explains why my father canceled his flight and made me meet him at five in the morning,” Yuta said between silent sobs. “I’m an idiot,” he whispered, “I thought I was given a second chance to make things better for the both of us but it was all you. You saved my relationship with my family, Mark, and saved us.” They sobbed into each other’s hold

“Yuta,” Mark said eventually, “don’t leave me, okay?” Yuta shook his head and hugged Mark the tightest he could. “Don’t go anywhere.” 

“I’ll always be where you are,” Yuta promised. 


End file.
